Emotional Healing, Uncategorized

Sync and Repeat: Through Poison Fog to A Moment of Joy

Ashes to Fishes, Dust to Rust – Make Like a Phoenix and Rise You Must
Meditative painting that just happened last night, on December 8th 2019

Note: I wrote this post when I first moved to the Sunshine Coast, rented the space for Brujeria and started planning my path. It’s been waiting patiently to find its moment. Now is the right time to release it.

It doesn’t matter who I was.  I’m turning a new page, looking onto a new day and closing the books on the past.  I find myself not at a crossroad anymore, but at a place where I am consciously trying to find my path back to today.  Moving to Gibsons and Brujeria are my attempt at living instead of grasping at a future.  I’m on the other side of pain and though nothing is ever perfect I’m ready to share, shed my own fears and just be.  

Happiness, I have come to realize, is a chase for most humans.  It’s the pursuit of something that will finally make us able to enjoy our days.  It turns out, happiness simply is TODAY.  

Sure, the past is where we learned our lessons and it shall never cease to affect us, we can all readily accept that.  We also have to accept that it has ceased to exist.  We cannot change it.

Then, there is the future, an elusive minx, right there ahead of us, never to be caught or clearly seen. A creature permanently around a bend, and no amount of mirrors can show us a glimpse of it.  It too fails to exist, just yet, so the trick is not to get too caught up in that either.

We have all heard of or thought up our own versions of the old cliche that begs you to live today, seize the day, and be in in the moment.  Yet time and again, we forget and need to be reminded and realigned to the present.

It’s a simple sync, one might think, but alas, the simplest of tasks prove to be hardest to master.  We humans are at an evolutionary disadvantage for we find it very hard to live in the moment. We have a capacity think, question and analyze while other animals can just BE.  A blessing and a curse in a actuality.  With the ability to think analytically, we humans gain to ability to dream up amazing creations we call art, solely to beautify the moment.  Art is impractical, but it makes most of us happy.  A completely practical world would be unimaginably depressive and oppressive.

Impracticalities are the basis of wonder and joy.  As kids, we were impractical, a source of worry, sleepless nights and also infinite joy for our parents.  Everything we did, we did because we wanted to enjoy existing.  While we must learn to feed and protect and clothe ourselves as we get older, we mustn’t become too practical as we advance into life.

Being too practical is living for the future only.  Therefore it’s the clearest sign that it’s time to stop and reset our clocks to NOW. Clear the fog from our eyes and see what’s in front of us. If there is nothing in this moment that can give us joy or make us grateful, perhaps we are in an educational stage of our lives.

Educational stages are usually times of pain after loss (of people, of things, of our dreams, our inner child, our capability to cope etc.).  They can last minutes, days or years, but if we can find the strength to push through, we will make it to the other side.  And when we are going through these stages, the other side is where our moment is waiting for us. 

Here’s the paradoxical part:

We now must cling to future happiness, but we also have to live through the pain.  It might seem contradictory to the philosophy I’m trying to advocate, but it’s temporary. These are growing pains. What really helps get through is to try and get your lessons and thoughts out of your head and onto the paper. I strongly recommend journalling. It could just be bullet points or doodles. This is for you only, so don’t stress about the format.

If you’re going through the one of these tough stages, remember this:

This moment too will become the past and your moment will come and your today will be exactly where you find your happiness.

That being said, change is absolutely what is needed if your moment is a rut.  You must move to today, suffer and grow; you must at least crawl to the other side of this fog. While it’s not easy or enjoyable, it’s completely possible and necessary.  If you dull the pain and not face it, you will not get through it.

The amazing thing is that once you start crawling, you will want to walk; and once you’re upright, you will want to fly.  On the other side of the fog, you will look back and wave goodbye to those joyless moments gone. Your pain will cease to exist and you can see your present and feel joy again.

 At times you will again have to walk through forests of practicality filled with poison fog.  No matter what age or life-stage you’re at, you can always re-learn to be and to do (just like you did when you were a kid) and to wade through the responsibilities, expectations and anxieties.  You can always realign to the moment.

May you always find your path back to wonder.

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